well im back, and i have some satire

Who Would You Rather Have Rule The Earth? Dinosaurs or Humans? by KC

Dinosaurs or humans. The age old debate. Which would be more desirable in terms of ruling everything around you? Wait, stop, hold it. Before you answer that question, I want you to know a few things. First off, dinosaurs are absolutely ginormous. Think of how much space they would take up, how much land they would destroy, how much they would eat, how much they would drink etc. I mean, lets imagine 100 dinosaurs at Lake Lanier. They would drink all the freaking water. What would we drink? How would we shower? These questions are overwhelming me.

As you know, dinosaurs can be divided into two groups, herbivorous and carnivorous, respectively. You may think there would be no danger in herbivorous dinosaurs, because they wouldn't eat us, but think again. They would eat all the trees. All of them. There would be ridiculous amounts of carbon dioxide polluting our atmosphere. I know what you're thinking, "well, lots of trees are being cut down already, so the carbon dioxide level would be the same regardless." No, it wouldn't. You know why? Because /humans/ aren't /greedy/ like /dinosaurs/ and don't have a need to use /all/ of the trees. Besides, humans are cutting down trees so cows and horsies and all the "kyute wittle farm aminals" have a place to live. Dinosaurs would eat all the trees, then their carnivorous cousins would eat all the cows and horsies as well. We would be left with nothing. NOTHING!

If you were a carnivorous dinosaur, what would you eat? The most helpless thing around, AKA babies. I mean there is nothing more appealing to a dinosaur than a nice, juicy baby. Come on, they just sit there and cry, and then a huge dinosaur comes in and CHOMP it's gone. The dinosaur gets fed, and the human population gets wiped out. Wonderful. It's not like humans kill babies or anything like that. That's such a ridiculous notion. You love babies, right? I know I do.

After all of this, I find humans a much more suitable ruler for the earth than dinosaurs. Why? Dinosaurs are greedy and don't think about helping others. They destroy trees and humiliate animals. They don't care about babies or clean water. In fact, they really are oblivious to anyone's needs but their own. I'm glad humans aren't like that.